Bond. James Bond. On Spike TV

James Bond makes his return to the airwaves tomorrow on Spike TV every Sunday from 2-11 pm and Tuesday 8-11pm. Now I won't say that any and every one should watch them all, but well... you should.

Most importantly, Die Another Day (Brosnan's final Bond movie, Brosnan's worst Bond movie, and among the worst Bond movies ever) will air on Spike TV tomorrow (Sunday) at 8:00 pm.

Why watch it? Well, if memory serves me right, it has one of the best Bond movie openings (which puts the rest of the movie to shame) and, honestly, the rest of the film has to be seen to be believed, like Moonraker (1979). Ryan saw that movie and still doesn't accept its existence.

Towards the opposite end of the spectrum, Goldfinger, one of the best Bonds, airs Tuesday night.

Garden State Soundtrack: A Simple Review for Simple People

I caught another showing of Garden State on HBO and a few songs caught my ears. So, I headed on over to Amazon to track them down. After discovering the songs (In The Waiting Line - Zero 7 / Lebanese Blonde - Thievery Corporation / Let Go - Frou Frou), I glanced down and skimmed through some reviews. One in particular caught my eye:

"If you are a Tool, then you will like this soundtrack. You will probably like it as much as you liked the movie.

So go and buy it already.

You Tool.

.....Did I mention that you're a tool yet?

The soundtrack is just like the movie: 90% annoying and contrived re-marketing of 'indie' culture. 10% OK. For me that 10% on the soundtrack would be Nick Drake... but that's just my taste."

It made me smile.

Lady in the Water

Fuckin' Amazing. Best movie of the year thus far.

"Rollin' Wit Bob Saget"

Stir-Space

Clarence vs The Stir-Man

The viral campaign begins.

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=51898507&MyToken=9a9edda8-54f2-4e9f-b188-ebfc2eb53771

MTV Re-enters the Raslin' Biz

Nope, not the return of "Tough Enough". With the WWE and Viacom (owners of CBS, SpikeTV, MTV, etc., and your soul) on hellfire and brimstone terms, "Tough Enough" as it existed is dead in the water. It's for the best, really.

Instead, MTV has decided to pick up a wrestling pilot they taped several months back. The deadline hit a few night ago on locking in contracted talent with MTV cutting it very close before picking up the series.

Some talent did manage to get released, though. Namely one Justin Credible who wanted to join the reformed ECW.

Currently labeled "Wrestling Society X", from reports I've read the set up appears to be a mix of music (Black Label Society played the pilot), extreme wrestling, and storyline.

The project has been setup for a four season run. Seasons? In wrestling? Interesting. This would also lead me to believe that the show will feature a focused storyline of some sort.

Currently, the project has one sole unique feature: it's setup. If the look of the taping holds true expect this:

"The WSX project is slated to have a very underground, gritty look to it. The original pilot was taped in a Los Angeles warehouse designed to look like a rundown club, described to me at the time as looking like "CBGB's met the ECW Arena" with the crowd standing around the ring for a mosh pit-like feel. There were a lot of pyro and effects used during the taping. The look of the show even included the ring, which was designed to purposely appear makeshift, dirty and weathered. There were no mats surrounding the ring. and no aprons around it, so the underside of the ring was exposed. The attention to detail was so precise that turnbuckles were designed to look like dirty rags that were taped in place."

This is the type of modifications to the normal wrestling ring setup that I like. Takes something familiar and adds (or "takes away", I suppose) to it to affect the atmosphere. I like this a lot more than the dreadful "6-sided ring" made popular by [NWA] TNA that has now infected my weekly Mexican wrestling. Wrestling needs to be wrestling, not try to borrow the "Ultimate Fighting cage" look which was taken from the world of wrestling in the first place.

As for the contracted talent, all are not well known outside the wrestling world. Other than the WCW victims, Teddy Hart and Sean Waltman ride the top of the list. A member of the famous Hart family (as in Bret, Owen, Davey, Jim, etc.), Teddy has a lot of talent. I've seen a few internet vids of his high flying style. The vids also show off his infamous bad attitude. I'm not talking "scripted" bad attitude, but the real deal. For example, Teddy Hart got so mad at a fan, who was doing nothing more than what fans normally do, that he moonsaulted from the ring onto the fan. He never stays long in any one company, usually burning his bridge each time. He was under WWF/E contract a while back, but was released shortly after due to poor behavior, never making TV.

Waltman, better known as the "1-2-3 Kid" and "X-Pac" has graced many wrestling rings, namely WWF/E and WCW, and been a member of the two most popular stables in professional wrestling: the NWO and D-Generation X. More mainstream viewers might remember his appearance on an episode of the Sureal Life with then-girl friend Joanie Lauer aka "Chyna", a member of the shows cast.

On a side note, it's a damn shame what happened to Chyna. Since the real life love triangle between Chyna, Triple H, and Steph McMahon, Chyna has been on a downward spiral. For anyone who's watched the Sureal Life, a couple episodes of Howard Stern, or read numerous news reports, Chyna's pretty much braindead on drugs. Now the drugs were her choice, but she really does need some help. And Triple H is the only one I think who really can. He started this and I'm sure his support could help end it.

No news on when this raslin' program hits. I expect this to become a part of either MTV or MTV2 's Friday night lineup. If not, I really don't think this program will find an audience, as if being on MTV isn't questionable enough.

Warning: May Be Hazardous to Health

I hope everyone had a happy 4th of July. I know I did....well, up until 10/9 c on the Sci-Fi network.

So horrible was this episode of ECW, that it actually affected my health. The following day featured mass vomiting, major headaches, dizziness, a ride home from mom, and a viewing of Garden State (on HBO) upon awaking on Death's doorstep. (Note: Under my altered state, I really enjoyed the movie, fell in love with Natalie Portman, saw some tities, and wondered who was pissing on Titembay's Gamecube.)

I'm still feeling the effects of it now, but this post post must be done, in the words of Mick Foley, "for the sake of history."

First, let me hit you wit some knowledge:

Last Sunday night after leaving the ECW house show and heading for RAW in Philly, Rob Van Dam and Sabu were arrested on drug possession. Get this: they were pulled over for speeding in the opposite direction of Philly, PA. The officer noticed that unique smell that comes from a little 4:20-ing and found several grams of weed and both had pills on their person. Rob Van Dam's was identifiable. Sabu's was not.

What does all this mean? Well thanks to WWE's new drug policy following the death of Eddie Guerrero, it means both can/could be fired on the spot due to "breach of contract". It appears RVD's fate was to lose the WWE Championship the following night on RAW to Edge, lose the ECW World title to the Big Show the next night on ECW on SciFi, and then be suspended for 30 days losing his main event spot on the upcoming NBC Special "Saturday Night's Main Event" July 15th. As for Sabu, no word. He did give a promo on the last episode of ECW, a fate wose than anything that's happened to Van Dam.

These two couldn't have picked a worse time to get caught. ECW rides the backbone of these two, since apparently Vince doesn't actually want ECW wrestlers on his ECW show. Now Van Dam is gone for 30 days and Sabu's status is questionable. This does not bode well for the future of the ECW brand. Disappointing considering that the present isn't doing so hot.

Let's look at our ECW show.

Kelly's Expose opens the show. Once again, yes, she's hot! But her dancing is so obviously bad. BAD! B-A-D-! She's 19 and she shows it. This just might have been what kick-started my failing health. She's like a naked child out there with no God-given talent other than her natural assets. I'm a red-blooded male, so I should like it, but I also possess some level of intelligence. Her segments leave me confused as a man.

Also, what's with the SAME, DAMN, SONG,?,! How can they not afford "Enter [The] Sandman" when they're wasting money on that crap? Idea!: Drop the weekly "Kelly's Expose" segments and put that money as a down payment on the Sandman rights.

Next up we get "Unknown Talent" Mike Knox squashing "ECW Wrestler" Little Guido (formerly Nunzio). Where was the rest of the FBI?! Why didn't they back Guido up? Maybe it's good that the rest of the FBI didn't show up because I'm sure Mike Knox would've destroyed them, too. Idea!: Fire Mike Knox and use his salary to pay for the rest of the Sandman rights.

Next we get the ECW debut of "EX-WWF/E Superstar" Test squashing "ECW Wrestler" Al Snow. Funny how after all the crap Test spoke of the WWE once he was fired that he comes crawling back once a contract is offered. That makes the man behind the "Test" character seem...well I won't even bother. So Test is back. Test is in ECW. Test is handing ECW talent their asses. All with his newly discovered physique.

Next a CM Punk promo. About damn time. The WWE has had CM Punk under contract for quite a while and he's just now seeing daylight. Punk is no ECW wrestler, but he's made a name for himself in the Indies. Word of mouth over the years is that Punk is something special, though he doesn't look it. Let's see what he can do.

Sabu talking? What the hell?!?!?!?!?!

Main Event: "WWE Superstar" Big Show wins the ECW World Title from "ECW Wrestler" Rob Van Dam. What happened to the main event of Edge vs RVD?! While I know full and well what happened, maybe the WWE should bother to tell us when main events have changed. Instead we get Big Show vs RVD like it was the plan all along.

The good from this match was the heel turn of Paul Heyman. Since both Heyman and RVD are ECW, then this makes history as the first ECW-only storyline feud!

The bad is that the Big Show is the new ECW World Champ. The Big Show is under going a transition to ECW wrestler, but he is still seen as a WWE Superstar. This is not the guy you want to be the figurehead of the ECW product. There's an ECW fanbase and, assuming they even still watch (though I do), they WILL NOT accept the Big Show as ECW World Champ. This is just another nail in the ECW coffin.

The Big Show as ECW champ could work from a creative standpoint with heel Paul Heyman backing him up. It WILL NOT from an ECW fan perspective.

I still fail to see the logic behind bringing back the ECW "company" without a strong push towards the ECW wrestlers. Fans have accepted RVD and Sabu. They would accept Justin Credible, Steven Richards, Danny Doring, Roadkill, Little Guido, and every other piece of ECW talent currently under contract if Vince McMahon and the rest of creative would just let them. Why do we need a "Mike Knox", a "Kelly", or a "Test"? Why not fill up the ECW program with ECW wrestlers who win in ECW matches on ECW TV? The last episode of ECW featured known WWE Superstars having known ECW wrestlers doing the job (squash).

How is this ECW? How is this a "brand alternative" as it is billed?

There's more, but I've got to lay down.